Anger problems? Take control.

We all know how it feels to get angry. Sometimes anger is mild, when you’re just irritated with someone. But at other times anger can be more extreme, with explosive rages. You start shouting and throwing things around. You lose control. Your blood pressure increases, your heart races and you can’t thing straight. But what exactly is anger?

Anger is a normal response to a situation where you feel you are being attacked, treated unfairly let down by others, hurt or rejected. Anger can help you to defend yourself, deal with the problem and let others know how you feel. But anger can also cause problems. If you always lose control, people might start to avoid you. Friends and colleagues may be afraid of your temper and leave you alone. Getting angry might make you feel better: giving you energy and making you feel you’re in control. But it might also leave you feeling hurt and misunderstood. Also, getting angry doesn’t usually solve the problem.

So what can you do about your anger?

Work out what makes you angry. – You need to understand what situations make you angry. Is it when people criticise you? Does anger appear when you’re frustrated or when you can’t do what you want? Do you get angry when you’re exhausted? Understanding the cause can help you deal with the problem.

Understanding signals. – Learn to identify the signs that you’re getting angry. Do you feel tense or annoyed? Do you pace about the room? By recognising you own signs you can change your behaviour.

Take control of you mind and body. – Try taking a step back and distancing yourself from the situation. Check your breathing and take some deep breaths to slow you down and calm your heart beat. Ask yourself, ‘Am I overreacting?’, ‘Can I find a way to be more assertive rather than aggressive?’. Try to speak calmly. Try the ‘Is it really worth it?’ test. Ask yourself, ‘Will it really matter in one month, one year?’ Do some exercise, like going for a run or a swim. Try some meditation, listen to music or do whatever helps you to feel relaxed.

Emotions.

Choose the correct adjectives.

I went to a party yesterday but it was so bored/boring that I left at 10.

I was presenting my idea to my boss but he must have been really bored/boring because he yawned all the time.

Can you imagine anything more embarrassed/embarrassing than having to speak in front of a crowd?

When I fell off the stairs in front 100 people I felt really embarrassed/embarrassing.

When I saw the gun I was absolutely frightened/frightening.

The big, bad frightened/frightening wolf was approaching the lamb.

It was shocked/shocking to see how many people had lost their houses.

When I realized how much the car cost I was really shocked/shocking.

All the tourists were fascinated/fascinating about the view.

The new complex offered a fascinated/fascinating swimming pool.

The parents got very disappointed/disappointing when they found out about their kid’s grades.

The meeting ended with a quite disappointed/disappointing result.

It’s not surprised/surprising that more and more people try to find a job abroad.

She is always surprised/surprising when the children do some housework.

The food we got was full of living creatures and it was very disgusted/disgusting.

The Japanese habits really disgusted/disgusting me.

Are you interested/interesting in music?

He composed a really interested/interesting piece of music.

I have worked all day so I’m quite tired/tiring.

Two meetings, one final record, a quarrel with my boss – it was a tired/tiring day.

The doctors have given me quite worried/worrying news.

I think most people are worried/worrying about their future.

Seeing all those sign I felt confused/confusing.                   

His speech was full of illogical steps so I found it very confused/confusing